And when you are still reeling from the collapse of your marriage, you might be ready for some free love, but the completion of the work needed to actually enjoy it is still a few months or years down the road.♦◊♦For me, it was indeed, several years before I was ready (am ready) to enter into a joyful relationship.
Before that time, I was interested in a relationship, but I was not bringing a full and healthy person to the table, so to speak.
When a few too many red flags come up early in a relationship, it’s OK, at this stage in our lives to just say, “Later.
And good luck.”When you are still reeling from the collapse of your marriage, you might be ready for some free love, but the completion of the work needed to actually enjoy it is still a few months or years down the road.
I am a thinking and feeling man in search of my next relationship. I’m the most positive person most of my friends have ever met. Sorry.” But I was too accommodating perhaps, and denying that she was giving me all the signs she was not ready at all for a date.
I’m not clear on what exactly that means, and I am clear that I don’t know. When it’s too easy to move the date, you might be looking at someone who’s desperate.
As a divorced adult, we have been freed of all (most) of those constraints.
Now, instead of suffering through the bad times, we can just move on.
I am aware of my tendencies towards obsession or over-thinking.
If she’s reset three times, and within an hour of our meeting … I listened to them talk about how great their kids were. So if I go in for the arm brush too early, be aware that I’m feeling you out for your touchy-feely level. Sure, I am illustrating a point, but I’m trying to sense out your touchy-feely scale. Or does touch/hugging/kissing/sex come with deeper reservations? And when I touch you, it IS casual, but I am looking for clues to how you will react later on.
Why do I think she’s going to be a different person in actual relationship. I even listened to their funny online dating stories. Almost as a technique to satisfy my marriage, a counseling recommendation, “Just listen. And if I’m too touchy, I might be showing my own emptiness or hunger. I’m not doing it in a creepy or manipulative way, but you need to know I’m doing it. My pools of reflection were deep, and I thought I was showing my deep feeling.
When I am free of these habits I am more confident that I am actually ready to try for a relationship again.
Be aware of your seeking patterns and when they are out of balance, or overblown, you might dial back your intensity a bit and examine what’s going on for you.